A gas mask, a sickle, a wooden mallet, and an army of pg tips monkeys. So far…

Right, fans/victims, I’ve been trying to hatch a new plan for world domination, (since the failure of The Armageddon Project) and it’s occured to me that because I work in a waste management and recycling site (or ‘tip’)  I often come across interesting things that i can ‘procure’.

And with enough ingenuity, i can use these random items to create a new plan. So far, I have the items listed in the title of this blog entry, and among other things:

 a machete

a strange ornamental thing with blobby liquid inside (quite hypnotic)

a biro

a brown shirt

some glove puppets

some bungee cords

some ex-navy issue boots

an 8-ball from a pool table

 

Quite frankly, if i can’t make some sort of decent attempt at making the citizens of earth my slaves using this dazzling array of items (plus whatever i find in the future), i should hang up my evil genius hat for good.

Being a psycho on a budget isn’t easy, but it’ll be worth it in the long run. I’ll have a harem and everything.

In the mean time, here’s a photo of Blakey from On The Buses, this is the only  picture that embodies the pure rage i will at some point unleash on the world.

 

As you can well imagine, i couldn’t find a scarier or more suitable pic to give an insight into the future of this doomed planet.

Armageddon out of here.

My seed has failed to germinate.

 

The world is safe for now at least, but rest assured, when I’ve hatched a new evil plan, you’re all for it.

 

 

In the mean time, look at this photograph of a rhino’s backside.

And some dung.

 

The Armageddon Project

Yes, here it is, the beast. Or at least, the beast in the making. Still not germinated, but rest asured, when this puppy is ready, and unleashed on the world, you’re all bang in trouble. I’ve even come to terms with the fact that i’ll probably be devoured too, as there really is no stopping the beast, regardless of the fact i’m it’s creator. But i won’t care by then, the wheels of destruction will already be set in motion.

Venus Flytrap

I bought a venus fly trap yesterday, or rather, a kit consisting of a small pot, about a spoonful of soil, and some seeds.(No pic as yet, but, pull yourself together, i’ll get on that issue v.soon)

I’ve planted them in the pot, watered them, and covered them with cling film (so they can ‘germinate’) like it said on the instructions.

Nothing has happened yet.

But if you keep reading this blog, you’ll know when it does.

And a few weeks from now, when i’m being featured on the news because i’m taking over the world with my triffid-esque army, you can say “I remember that psycho when he was starting out” but alas, it’ll be too late to stop me by then.

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